Tasty

 Even for me, it's been one hell of a couple of weeks. In the main comprising a lot of mechanical failure as well as some really exciting opportunities, lots more followers on Twitter and even a few more followers on Facebook (tricky getting people to click that little 'like' box). So where to start? Well, I was very happy that my own space on lovely online emporium From The Wilde went live on Monday. It's especially nice as From The Wilde also displays the collections of some other artists whose work I already know and absolutely love such as Poppy Treffry, Sophia Victoria Joy and Warbeck & Cox and a whole host of other amazing artists whose work I am less familiar with and am looking forward to getting to know better. All very inspiring stuff and I am brimming with pride.  

  I have also managed to produce two new designs in the face of considerable odds. Not only did my sewing machine peg out last week but this weekend, my beloved and much used MAC laptop ran up the curtain to join the choir invisible as well. All I can say is thank goodness for a creative mother-in-law with an available (and far superior) machine and the carbonite.com computer back up system or I would currently be experiencing the frustration and personal anguish of a sex addicted cyclist at a keys-in-the-bowl party.
  The first in my new 'Edibles' collection "Eat Me /Drink Me" (pictured above) is a double-sided offering, handprinted and finished in a blend of cranberry and black ink on my customary hessian. It is a homage to the fabled size-altering consumables Alice encounters down the rabbit hole in Lewis Carroll's Alice In Wonderland. The second "Let Them Eat Cake" (below) references the infamous comeback usually falsely credited to Queen Marie Antoinette of France but that mostly now sums up our cultural leanings towards comfort food and indulgence. 

 That's two down and there's a few more in the pipeline. Or should that read 'piping' line? Forgive me. I'm a bit giddy. It's a rare occurance.

  Now back to my new home at From The Wilde. For starters, it's worth mentioning that, as part of their 1st anniversary celebration at the beginning of July, From the Wilde is offering 15% off all purchases. Simply enter coupon code 2222 at the checkout. Secondly, I've been wandering its galleries and here is my pick of the lovely creations I've found so far. 

Doorstop  Warbeck & Cox  £30

Bebe Blouse Trefall Design  £18

Lavender Soap Sarah Harper Handmade £2.29

Victorian Wooden Tray West Egg Interiors  £45.00

  There we go, just a small selection from the vast array of beautiful items on offer but inspiration enough to motivate me for the enormous amount of catching up I have to do if I want to make a decent show at the Monton Village Festival this weekend where my cushions will be on sale all day. Pray for good weather and low winds so we can keep control of the gazebo. There's just enough time for one more thing before I go. 

 This week's list, in deference to France's doomed Queen, is about the hallowed and elusive art of the 'comeback' or for most of us, myself included, what we would say to people who offend or annoy us if we had the time to come up with something really witty and clever that negates the insulting effect of the original insult. Get it right, and in most cases, you'll trump the argument. On some rare occasions, it will lead directly down the path to madame la guillotine. Perhaps you have one you don't see here. Feel free to add it to the collection. Here are some of my favourites. I've never managed to use any of them (not quick enough) but there's still time:

The Best Comebacks

1. Dismissive: "A thought crossed your mind? That must have been a very long and lonely journey."
2. Very dismissive: "I'm busy right now. Do you mind if I completely ignore you tomorrow?"
3. Mega dismissive: "There you go confusing me with someone who gives a damn."
4. Superior and patronising: "I sincerely hope you were able to get a full refund from the charm school."
5. Harmlessly witty: "I'd like to help you out. Which way did you come in?"
6. Just plain rude: "I am really trying to see things from your point of view but I can't get my head that far up my b*m."
7. Anecdote 1 - Sharp as a razor from the Master of the comeback himself: Nancy Astor, the American socialite, becoming frustrated with an increasingly drunk and beligerent Winston Churchill at a dinner party exclaimed: "Mr Churchill, if you were my husband, I’d put poison in your coffee.” to which he replied "Madam, if  you were my wife, I'd drink it". 
8. Anecdote 2 (and my personal favourite): A woman reporter was interviewing Australian General Peter John Cosgrove about planned activities for a number of young boys who were visiting his Army base including, amongst other things, shooting practice. When she suggested that, in doing so, he would be equipping the youngsters to become violent killers he replied, "Well Ma'am, you are equipped  to become a prostitute, but you're not one, are you?" 

Touche. Now back to the sewing machine.